S4, Ep6: Everything Everywhere All At Once

This month, Hayley and Kayli are exploring the magnitude of the multiverse with our movie picks. First up, is Everything Everywhere All At Once. Our mediocre hero, Evelyn, has given up on all of her dreams and settled for a life she doesn’t really want. On her way to get audited, her “husband” tells her that she is in great danger. The chaos of Jobu Tupaki has torn apart the multiverse and he believes that this Evelyn is the key to save the world. In order to take on this mission, Evelyn must find a way to be everything, everywhere, all at once. 

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S4, Ep5: Our Lord and Savior, Donnie Darko

This week, we decided that it was time to sprinkle in some positivity with our movie choices by watching some of our faves! Hayley’s pick is the twisty, mind-bending dark comedy, Donnie Darko. We follow our hero and resident emo boy, Donnie Darko, who recently escaped being crushed to death by a jet engine and made a new friend all at the same time! This new friend, Frank, just happens to wear a creepy ass bunny costume, is imaginary, and tells him the world will end in 28 days.  During this time, Donnie begins to understand the true meaning of life, death and time. Did Kayli fall in love with Hayley’s favorite movie or was this another miss? Listen to find out!

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S4, Ep4: Let Me Be Your Umma

This week, Hayley and Kayli are uncovering their mommy issues with the hidden gem Umma. This psychological thriller follows Amanda who lives out in the middle of nowhere with her daughter, Chrissy. After an estranged uncle comes to visit, Amanda learns that her mother has passed away. In the wake of this news, Amanda becomes trapped in the past and must fight the overpowering presence of her Umma. Did we leave the theaters afraid of our mothers or did we find this one too predictable to be scary? Listen to find out!

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S4, Ep3: To The Batman…

This month we are kicking things off with the gritty noir known as The Batman. This film follows our batty detective, Bruce Wayne. Gotham’s most prominent figures are being targeted in a string of murders, with the killer leaving behind riddles address to Batman himself. Were we on the edge of our seats during this ride or could we not get over the nearly 3 hour run time? Listen to find out!

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S4, Ep2: The Not So Fresh Prince of Bel Air

As February comes to a close, Hayley and Kayli decided to end the month with Bel Air. This remix of an old favorite is a Peacock exclusive where the comedy has been swapped out for all of the drama! The first episode brings a little spice to the iconic line “I got in one little fight and my mom got scared. She said,’You movin’ with auntie and uncle in Bel Air.'” Was this first episode enough to make Hayley and Kayli want more? Listen to find out!

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S4, Ep1: Meteor Man Saves the Day!

Happy Black History Month everyone! This month, Hayley and Kayli are prioritizing movies and shows that highlight black voices. Our first pick is The Meteor Man, the first black superhero movie! This action comedy follows Jefferson Reed’s transformation from substitute teacher to Meteor Man. This hero can do it all! He can fly, talk to dogs, know everything about a book after touching it, and much, much more. With all of these powers, Jeff must protect his community from the vicious gang, the Golden Lords. Are we over the moon about this one or did we feel like we got into a tragic accident with a meteor? Listen to find out!

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S3, Ep24: We’ll Be Baaaack

Hello 2022! Is there a better way to celebrate the New Year than by releasing an episode that was supposed to come out back in October? Probably! But Hayley and Kayli didn’t want to leave this one behind. This week we are reviewing Lamb, a dreamy farming simulation gone wrong. We follow Maria and Ingvar as they are gifted with a very special lamb and decide to raise it as their own daughter. Intervening with mother nature is something one shouldn’t take lightly, as the happy couple realize a little too late. Is this dreamy film a true nightmare or a snoozefest? Listen to find out!

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S3, Ep23: Gabriel Sends His Best!

Hey y’all! We know it’s been a while, but we’re back with this banger of a movie. This week, Hayley and Kayli are ready to cut out the cancer of Malignant. We are following Madison, a recent victim of a home invasion where she lost not only her unborn child, but also her abusive husband. After the break-in, Madison starts having terrible visions of people being brutally murdered. These visions are only the tip of the iceberg, as Madison must relive her troubled childhood in order to stop this vicious killer. Tune in this week to listen to the very first episode where Hayley and Kayli finally disagree!

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S3, Ep22: Say His Name!

Candyman, Candyman, Candyman, Candyman, Candyma… Come on, you didn’t really think we were gonna say it right? This week, Hayley and Kayli are getting ready to give some sweets to the sweet as they dive into Candyman 2021. This followup to the original Candyman follows our couple: Tony and Brianna. When the couple learns about the Candyman legend, Tony becomes obsessed. Is this just a harmless boogeyman or does this urban legend hold some water? Tune in to find out if we got a sweet tooth or just a cavity with this version of Candyman!

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Halloween Chronicles 5

Hey ghouls! I hope everyone is having a creepy and scary October so far. I finally put up my Halloween/fall decorations this week, which has definitely helped with the spooky vibes! Thank goodness for that because this week’s books,tv shows and movies were all over the place. I watched 5 movies and finished 1 series and 1 book. Let’s jump into this mess!

There’s Someone Inside Your House (2021)

Rating: 1/5

There’s Someone Inside Your House is your typical teen-slasher flick. We’re in the small town of Osborne, Nebraska where teens are getting picked off one by one because of their dirty little secrets. This is a Netflix original based on a YA book that I haven’t read yet, but I’m planning on it because I have to see if the source material is as terrible as this movie was. I don’t really know where to start with this one. I mean the storyline is very basic and the acting is subpar at best, but that’s most Netflix movies these days. I guess I was just annoyed by the characters. Everyone seemed like a caricature of the person/group they represent. I couldn’t take anyone seriously, especially the killer. This is gonna spoil who the killer is, so skip down if you must. Okay, so the killer is picking people off because of their secrets that range from the benign to straight up dangerous. However, the killer has a whole Nazi memorobillia collection in their home! Like sir, how the hell do you have a leg to stand on? Also, one of the characters that died just had a drug problem. Instead of murking them, why not get them some help? I don’t know how this one got the green light, but I’m hoping that the book isn’t nearly as cartoonish as this movie was. 

VHS 94 (2021)

Rating: 1/5 

VHS 94 is an anthology film following a group of police officers during a drug raid. During this raid, they find 4 different disturbing tapes that these suspects seem to be dealing in. I’m honestly not that confident in this synopsis because I’m not really sure what the main storyline was. Usually the VHS setup plays an important part in bringing the different segments together. This one was just super muddy and confusing. For context, I love anthology horror and I really enjoyed the majority of the VHS franchise (VHS: Viral is just not it). I was super excited to watch the newest installment of the VHS universe and it was the main reason why I kept my Shudder subscription. Unfortunately, I found VHS 94 super boring. I even watched this with my family who likes goofy movies, but none of us were vibing with this one. I hope that the VHS franchise continues, because I have faith that we can do better than that.

The Guilty (2021) 

Rating: 2/5 

The Guilty is a very bland cop thriller following Officer Joe Baylor who is trying to save Emily, a woman who placed a 911 call claiming to have been abducted. The Guilty feels like a podcast for a few reasons: 1. We’re trapped at the police station alongside Joe, 2. Everything that happens in this film is over the phone, and 3. The other people on the phone are never seen. I think this feeling could have really made this movie intriguing if the main character wasn’t such a douche. I was so tired of seeing Joe’s face the entire time. It was hard to empathize with him during the emotional scenes and sometimes his motivations seemed a little muddy. I think this had an interesting premise, just poor execution. I learned that this is actually a remake of the Danish film also named The Guilty , which a lot of people seem to enjoy. I might have to check that one out! Overall, I wouldn’t recommend this one unless you love Jake Gyllenhaal. 

Squid Game (2021)

Rating: 4/5

I know I mentioned this one in my last post, but I finally finished it! This show has been hyped up, but I think for good reason. It really is that good! I know some people were lukewarm about the ending, but I think it leaves things open just enough for there to be more seasons or for this to be the definite ending. I think it ends the way most people would expect, but there are a few interesting aspects that I’m hoping will be explored in the future. If this is the ending, I really did enjoy the ride and the games that were played. I would love to see what else comes out of the brain of Hwang Dong-hyuk in the future. Everyone who doesn’t mind violence should check this one out! 

They Never Learn by Layne Fargo (2020)

Rating: 3.5/5

They Never Learn is told in two perspectives at the same school: Scarlett, an English professor and Carly, a freshman. Scarlett likes to kill deserving men in her spare time, while Carly is trying to adjust to her new life at college. I really liked this book! It gave me Dexter vibes when it comes to Scarlett and her storyline was really fun to read (for the most part). The only issue I had was the way her story wrapped up. I feel like things got resolved too easily and too happy, like it was just missing a “And They Lived Happily Ever After” at the end. I also liked Carly’s storyline as well, it was just hard to read sometimes. This book does deal in manners of assault, so make sure you read up on the trigger warnings before going into it. Overall, I really did enjoy this thriller and I think the way the story was told was intriguing. Highly recommend! 

I know this one is uploaded at a weird time, but ya girl has been in a creative slump. I was really excited for this spooky season, but right now I’m not really feeling it. Maybe if I find some better movies, my mood will shift. Wish me luck witches!

Halloween Chronicles 4

What’s up witches! Spooky season is finally here and in full swing! I decided to resurrect Halloween Chronicles this year to dish about all the books, movies and tv shows I’ll be consuming this October. So far, I’ve watched at least one movie every day! I know we’re only 6 days in, but have you ever tried to watch a horror movie every day for 31 days?? It takes a lot out of ya! I haven’t finished a book yet or a single series, but there are a few things I’m looking forward to. So let’s get into it!

Movies

Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

Rating: 2/5

Little Shop of Horrors is a fun musical following Seymour and his discovery of an alien plant lovingly named Audrey II. Trying to coax it to grow, Seymour finds out that this little plant doesn’t want water, it wants blood! I think this is the first time I’ve seen this musical all the way through and boy did it drag! For context, I am not a musical hater. I love Grease, Rocky Horror Picture Show, and most of the classic Disney movies I grew up on (yes, those are obviously musicals). But Little Shop of Horrors just had sooooo many songs and not enough story. I don’t think the song thing would have irked me as much if most of the songs slapped, but to be honest, a lot of them were boring and hard to listen to. I think we are seriously lacking in the category of horror musicals, make more of these people!

Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum (2018)

Rating: 3/5

Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum is a South Korean found footage film about a group of “YouTubers” trying to capture ghost activity on a livestream at Gonjiam, a haunted asylum (obviously). I found this hidden gem through PossedbyHorror’s YouTube channel and I’m so happy I did! I know that not everyone loves found footage films, but I am a sucker for this subgenre of horror. I’m not sure what it is, but I feel like these types of movies make me jump more than traditionally filmed horror movies. I mean this one had a few scenes in there that made me cover my eyes! I’m too grown to be doing that! This one does start off a bit slow, but give it a chance to terrorize you.

Thir13en Ghosts (2001)

Rating: 2/5

Thir13en Ghosts is an early 2000s horror film about some evil guy trying to capture 13 ghosts to power up some evil machine. Honestly guys, this movie served as a palate cleanser for me after watching Gonjiam and nothing more. I haven’t seen this movie in its entirety before, but I knew that people loved it for its cheese. Boy did it deliver on that! I don’t have much to say about this one, because it really is just a cheesy ass movie about killer ghosts. I think this is best enjoyed as a background movie, as long as you don’t mind ghost titties popping up every so often. 

Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire (2000)

Rating: 3/5

Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire is a fun Disney channel movie about some kids setting their mom up on a date with a vampire. I watched this one last year and was craving a comfort watch on my Sunday evening. If you’re watching something spooky every day this month like me, I suggest having some comfort watches sprinkled in there. It makes it easier to want to continue watching horror movies for 31 days. If you want to hear my initial reaction to this movie, you can check out our podcast episode here: https://pressedpodcast.com/2020/10/31/s3-ep4-spooktacular-times/.

Ghost Team (2016)

Rating: 2/5

Ghost Team is about a ragtag gang of amateur ghost hunters filming their first encounter with the paranormal. Okay, I have an issue with this one. Ghost Team is categorized as a horror comedy, but in my opinion it wasn’t funny enough to be a comedy or scary enough to be a horror. This had some great actors in it that I love: Jon Heder, Justin Long, and David Krumholtz to name a few. I usually enjoy the movies that they’re in. Hell, I just rewatched Blades of Glory and laughed more times than I did watching this. I don’t know if I would even recommend this one as a background movie. Overall, it was just a disappointing watch.

TV Shows

I haven’t finished any series yet, but I have been enjoying a few shows! One of them is Midnight Mass. Midnight Mass is about the island of Crockett getting a new pastor who seems to be bringing with him a few surprises. I’m trying to keep it vague because holy shit! I’m only 3 episodes in and I love it! I’m really enjoying where the story is going and I can’t wait to finish it.This is a bit of a slow burn, but if you enjoyed Haunting of Hill House or Haunting of Bly Manor, you should check it out! The other one I’m watching is Squid Game. If you haven’t heard about Squid Game by now, allow me to be your introduction. This South Korean gem follows a few different people who are all competing in childhood games for a big ass lump sum of sweet, sweet moola. But these childhood games have taken a sinister turn. Is the money worth their lives? Y’all need to watch it! I’m only 2 episodes in, but it has me hooked! If you like the concept behind Squid Game, you should also check out Alice in Borderland. Very similar vibes!

Books

I haven’t finished any books yet, but come back next time!

I am super excited about this spooky season! We have a lot of creepy things cooking up, so make sure you’re following us on Instagram (@hayleyandkayli) and our YouTube channel (Hayley and Kayli) so you don’t miss any scary surprises! Stay spooky!

S3, Ep21: Norman’s Comeback

Don’t make a noise, don’t move, and don’t breathe! This week, Hayley and Kayli are talking about the fascinating “sequel” of Don’t Breathe 2. This time, Norman traded in his turkey baster for some random kid he found on the street. Unfortunately, good things don’t last long for this guy as once again some bad guys break into his home. This time, they aren’t there for money, they want the child! Dun, dun, duuuuun! Tune in to find out if we like this addition to the Don’t Breathe franchise!

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S3, Ep20: Finally Wrapping Shit Up

“The truth will be your curse.” This week we are finally wrapping shit up with the Fear Street trilogy. This time, we follow Deena as she steps into Sara Fier’s shoes to relive what happened in Union in 1666. As the town descends into blight and chaos, the townspeople find their perfect scapegoat: Sara Fier. Through Sara’s story, Deena is able to discover who truly has their grip on the land but will she be able to stop them or will the curse continue to live on? Listen this week to find out how Hayley and Kayli felt about this trilogy!

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S3, Ep19: Summer Camp Was Killer!

“In Shadyside, the past is never really past.” This week, we’re checking up on our favorite witch, Sara Fier in Fear Street 1978. This time we’re at Camp Nightwing following sisters, Cindy and Ziggy. Camp is usually filled with fun, games, and friendship, but this year it’s all about murder, murder, and more murder! Was this camp slasher a bloody good time, or was it a bit of bore-fest? Listen to find out!

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S3, Ep18: Deena’s Crazy Ass

High school is all fun and games until your ex gets cursed! This week, Hayley and Kayli are discussing the 90s nostalgic galore that is Fear Street Part 1: 1994. Shadyside has been plagued for centuries by killers and tragedies. Some say that Shadyside is cursed by the evil witch Sara Fier, but is that just an urban legend? Deena and her friends find themselves trying to answer this very question. Will this 90s inspired slasher leave you with Goosebumps or make you want to leave Fear Street behind for good? Listen to find out! 

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S3, Ep17: A Not So Quiet Place

Blockbusters are back and John Krasinski waited patiently to unveil A Quiet Place Part II for when theaters returned. Hayley and Kayli braved the close confinements of the movies to bring you their review of this long awaited sequel. Tune in to find out how they felt the second part compared to the first and how they viewed the expanded apocalyptical world where making any noise is life or death.

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S3, Ep16: Anna, Get Your Ass Out the Window!

I’m sure you have heard of Peeping Tom but I would like to introduce you to his female counterpart: Peeping Anna. This week Hayley And Kayli review the novel and new Netflix movie, Woman in the Window. Tune in to find out how well the movie stayed true to its original story and what they thought of the alcoholic, agoraphobic protagonist (Whew!). We’ll give you a hint: It’s giving very much Woman on the Train.

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Resources: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2019/02/11/a-suspense-novelists-trail-of-deceptions

S3, Ep15: Was It Maud or Was It God?

This week, Hayley and Kayli are looking for the truths of life. Are we living in a simulation? What happens when we die? As you can see this week’s movie, St. Maud, brought some intense conversations about our time here on Earth. The psychological thriller half of this movie had the girls pondering just how far will someone go to feel like they are apart of something greater? The horror half had Hayley and Kayli wondering who the main character was talking to? In the end there was only one question: Was it Maud or was it God?

S3, Ep14: We’re All Sheep and Justice League Was Just Okay.

Hayley and Kayli are back this week with a special episode featuring not one but two movies. That’s right, they suffered through the original Justice League and Zach Snyder’s Justice League just to see what all the hype was about. From Wonder Woman to Batman these girls spare no feelings on what they thought about each superhero and their roles in the film. Tune in to find out which version they thought was the best and listen to your favs rant yet again.

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S3, Ep13: A Deadly Illusion

Here’s a deadly illusion for you: Hayley and Kayli didn’t waste 2 hours watching another Netflix Top 10 movie! This week, we are parsing through Deadly Illusions trying to figure out what was real and what was an iLlUsIoN. This would be a lot easier to do if the movie didn’t feature every overdone trope in the psychological thriller genre. Join us as we talk about some creepy ass relationships and the worst “twist” ending we’ve seen all year. Thanks Netflix!

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