Well, we are officially 3 months into 2020 and oof has it been rough. Everyone was excited to start off the new decade, but has anyone actually stuck with their goals? In this blog post, Hayley reflects on our month of love and recaps her thoughts for one of the episodes found here: https://pressedpodcast.com/2020/02/27/s2-ep25-is-your-bff-actually-your-so/ Kayli catches everyone up to speed on how the new year has been so far. If you’re craving more life updates from us, here’s an episode you may like: https://pressedpodcast.com/2020/01/18/s2-ep21-new-year-new-who/

Hayley

Soul Mate(s)?

As February is behind us, now is a great time to reflect on all that is love. We tend to shine the brightest light on romantic relationships while leaving all the others in the shadows. On one of our most recent episodes, we reviewed one article about how your soul mate could actually be your best friend. In this scenario, all of your “romantic relationships” would be on the side while you and your friend live together for the rest of your lives as the main course. Although I disagree with a majority of this philosophy, I do recognize its awareness in appreciating other relationships. 

Many movies and shows on Netflix (or whoever} focus on romantic relationships and growing up it’s easy to see why we as a society tend to focus more on this type. There is romance, drama, betrayal, and lots and lots of sex. These narratives seem more entertaining and it’s easy to spin different storylines to keep the audience absorbed and entertained. Friendships, on the other hand, seem to be less enthralling and limited to comical conversations and passing talk about boys and life. 

What I would like to shine light on this time is the fact we have done a disservice to friendship and many other “ships”. If you think about it, most of the people you spend your time with before you’re married are your friends and family. At some point in your life you were single and during these times who did you rely on? Who was your comfort when there was no one else? That’s right – it’s all the relationships you probably ignored as soon as you get into a romantic relationship. Of course part of this drift is natural, as most people end up starting families with this person and depend on one another but we should be more thoughtful. Other relationships give us laughter, guidance, and support. The author of the article mentioned your soul mate could be someone unexpected: a friend. Someone you can talk about anything to and have a great connection with without the sexual aspect. I agree maybe we can have different soul mates for different things and we shouldn’t limit it to one person.

This also takes the pressure of your romantic partner; we always try to force them to check every box off our “list”. This is almost impossible. No matter who you end up with there will always be compromise and sacrifice. As long as they check off your major boxes and you can be your true self around them – what’s the problem? Your significant other may hate your most loved passion, true crime, but you may have a friend who adores it as much as you. Maybe you and your dad have the same hobby, painting, and you bond and connect through this activity. This is where you can fulfill your needs through a variety of “mates”. True crime mates, hobby mates, and so much more; the possibilities are endless.

So the next time you visit family or reconnect with an old friend, remember they might be one of your many soul mates and you should treat them as such. We should shine a light on the all the “mates” and leave nothing in the dark.  

Kayli

I was super excited to start the new year. Not only would it be the start to a new decade, but I was also turning 24. So many big things were coming up and I thought that I would drastically change, that I would become the kicking-ass-and-taking-names adult I needed to be. Now it’s the start of March and I still don’t have a full-time job and I feel even worse than before. Not to be a Debby Downer, but oof is all I can say. If you follow the podcast, you will know that I quit my full-time job because I hated it. It got to the point where I couldn’t even enjoy my weekends anymore because I was already stressed about going back. I saved up some money, talked to my parents and quit without another job lined up. Now, my bank account is asking me to pass the tissues as we cry together. I have had my ups and downs. I have felt super inspired and super not. I have started over so many times that I’ve lost count. I don’t want to give up, but why isn’t anything changing?

All of that to say, I’m starting over again! At the beginning of the year, I made a list of things that I would like to accomplish. Some people might call them goals, but you know, just a list of shit to do. And I think I’m ready to start tackling them. I want to stop being afraid of making a mistake. I’m so concerned that I’ll either make a mistake that will knock me off of my “destined path” or I’ll make a mistake that makes me look like an idiot. What if making a podcast or videos or painting or writing isn’t what I’m supposed to do? What if those things are just distracting me from what I’m supposed to really be doing? But what is anyone really supposed to be doing? Everyone talks about life being too short, about enjoying the little things. Even if the things I enjoy don’t last, I should do them because they make me happy, right?

There’s nothing worse than getting in your own head. I’m afraid that I’ll be so consumed with my self-doubt and fears, that it’ll be 2030 before I know it and I still haven’t started. So, here’s to starting over before it’s too late to change. I hope that 2020 is a great year for all of us. I mean who knows how much longer we have until the Earth decides to evict our asses, so might as well be happy.