As you may have heard from our podcast episode, “The Good, the Bad and the Roommates from Hell,” Kayli and I had some interesting roommate stories. If you have ever lived outside your parent’s house I’m sure you have too. If you’re reading this and thinking about getting a roommate and need some advise I believe I have a few tips:
If I could go back in time, I would evade having random roomies at all costs. This is way easier said than done and in many cases unavoidable. If for some magical reason you can choose your own living partner, I would. Or just live on your own like the little introvert we know you are.
No Best Friends:
Although tempting, best friends rooming together usually makes for a toxic mess. People who have grown living apart and build their relationship off of this dynamic often find it hard to move into the same living space together. All their little annoying habits could arise and you may find yourself cohabitating with someone you never really knew. My best advice for choosing your roomie is to find someone you are good acquaintances with. This should be someone who you generally get along with but not someone you would miss if you never spoke again.
Just because you like to live nasty doesn’t mean everyone else does. Please be aware that others have to use the same space as you and set time aside every week to make sure you do your due diligence in keeping the area clean. If you have your own room feel free to blow it up, we don’t care, just not the community areas cause’ that’s’ just rude.
Hopefully this gave you some insight when stepping into the world of living with others. It’s never easy, but if done right, you can make friends that last a lifetime.
Do I regret printing off my roommate’s subtweets about me? Do I regret printing off pictures of us, putting trashcans over their faces? Do I regret taping them all over their furniture and their doors? Not necessarily. I know what you’re thinking, “Kayli, that sounds a little extreme my guy.” I know, I know. But I think everyone should experience some level of crazy at least ONCE in their lives to get it out of their system. Roommates can be difficult. Especially if they tell you, the only black roommate, that they were glad to only have one black roommate because more than one would have been just too much. Having experienced living with both randos and friends in college, I do have some advice for you.
Don’t take shit from anyone:
Literally, don’t take shit from anyone. On the other hand, don’t let these people walk all over you. If they say something or do something that makes you uncomfortable, let them know. It is awful living in a place that you aren’t comfortable in. I know that everyone wants to try to be as nice as possible to their roommates, but sometimes that niceness is just taken advantage of. Don’t let these fools feel like they can get away with bringing a bunny into your dorm and make you get rid of the body when it dies tragically. Stand up for yourself but don’t be rude about it. Being an adult is about compromise, right? So try it! Try to open up the dialogue before things escalate to a screaming match.
To Burn Bridges or to Not Burn Bridges:
I have read plenty of self-help books and they all talk about letting go of the past and being able to forgive everyone who’s ever annoyed you or wronged you. I may or may not have some trouble in this department of forgiveness. If someone has fucked me over and made no attempt to repair the damage, byeeeee! Now with both of my roommate situations, I’m not friends with either one of them. The first one, I do not regret whatsoever. I will never enjoy the presence of someone who speaks to me the way she did, or talk shit about me to everyone who would listen. The second situation is a little different. I really thought we were friends. We would hang out all of the time, watch shows together, go out together. It was fun! I do wish that situation would have played out a little differently. If you ever get into a fight with your roommate, who you liked, I would really figure out if the friendship is more important than the argument. That’s your call if you forgive them or not.
Haven’t checked out our podcast episode? Look up Pressed in iTunes to listen now! The Good, The Bad and The Roommates from Hell